Sleeping
by adlyb
Summary: When Naraku sees how powerful Kagome has become, he kidnaps her. Now, Inuyasha must find a way to save her before she succumbs to Naraku's madness. Inu/Kag, some Nar/Kag. DARK fic. COMPLETE!
1. Dreaming

**Dreaming **

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

She sees the world in a dichotomy of softest blurs and sharpest clarity. Over there, far off in the distance, a light, bright, seductive. Directly in front of her, grim faces and stiff shoulders. All around her, broken souls and gray, ashy earth are lost in translation. She is numb to the absolute destruction which surrounds her, follows her, hounds her every step.

Her heart is thundering in her chest, pounding through her rib cage. Its low vibration is all she can hear. Every other sound is muted. It is as though her ears are filled with cotton swatches. Though she answers when she's spoken to, makes the right responses when they seek her opinion, there is a distance about her now. She doesn't really hear them.

There is a single-mindedness to her that simply did not exist before. Where before she was bright, cheery, the core of the group, she's now… not. She's… _different_. And they all know that there is nothing they can do to bring her back, no cure to save her, no panacea to revive her. She's drowning, and when her lungs finish filling, she'll die, as sure as the sky (used to be) is blue.

No one laughs anymore. Instead, their faces are set in bleak and gloomy lines. They follow her lead, go wherever she says they need to. Occasionally, they'll make it in time to save a village, delay Naraku's advances, but nothing they have done has stymied him so far. And when they immerge from battle, instead of feeling victorious or relieved, they are bewildered. Again they survive, again there their losses are… acceptable. But they do not sleep well those nights (or any nights for that matter), because they see the dark clouds looming over their heads, and everyday they become a little more aware that they cannot win as they are. Without her, they are no longer _in tact_, no longer _whole_. They have lost their soul, their inspiration, and because of this they know. They will lose.

But to them she is lost. She floats inside her own mind and never wanders far from those cushy walls of grey non-being. She reasons to herself that she is only human after all, there is no shame in letting her standards slide. But she must not fail. Above all, she must not fail.

She is different. Where before she was anchored to reality, she now drifts free-flow through _un_reality. She walks in worlds the others cannot see, cannot imagine, cannot touch, taste, feel. She exists in the momentary reality of revenge.

Sometimes, late at night, she argues with herself that nothing has changed. The others are after their revenge, too. Inuyasha for the loss of a love, Miroku for an ever-present death threat, Sango to avenge her family and free her brother… She argues with herself that when it comes right down to it, she is no different herself now. In rare moments of intense introspection, she acknowledges that her motivation for hunting Naraku has drifted into the muddy waters of vengeance, but she ultimately, invariably, decides the same thing: It doesn't matter. Her end-goal is still the same, and that's what counts. Her reasoning for the actions which lead her there are inconsequential.

Very, very rarely, she notices that her intentions _are _different from her… companions'. They at least feel some compassion for the havoc, the savagery, wrought upon the innocents who lie in his path, who are by extension on theirs' too. She sees them as in the way. She realizes, sometimes, that _their _revenge is no longer personal; it has become _impersonal_. They fight from a benevolent desire to protect mankind. She fights because it will satisfy her when she wins. Her reasons are completely selfish. But these moments of realization are few and far between, and as time passes they become increasingly infrequent.

But for the most part she knows that she is not the same girl who first jumped through the well all those years ago. She has shed her like an old coat, no longer fit to keep out the cold.

She finds one day that she no longer knows how long it's been since she's been home. However, the thought strikes strangely across her mind, and with a slight, imperceptible shrug, she realizes that the Higurashi Shrine with its soft bed and warm, yellow lighting is no longer what she considers home. Home is the road to Naraku, the wind on her face as the boy she once considered her own lifts her onto his back and begins to run, to give chase.

At first she thinks that this lack of a sense of time should disturb her more. She, who has lived her whole life following a tightly regulated bell-schedule now no longer abides by those rules. She is outside them now. And she revels in it.

When at last they make it, when at last Inuyasha runs fast enough to carry her to Naraku, she is ready. With dry, cool hands she clutches her bow, feels the individual grains along its shaft and the sleek, biting edge of its string, and knows she is ready. She wonders vaguely if she even still has the power to purify. It wouldn't surprise her if she didn't. Her soul is so corrupted by the desire for revenge, for Naraku's blood on her hands, that she has very likely sacrificed any talent she may have once possessed. But she does not care. It is not important. Whether through spirit power or through sheer determination and aero-dynamic precision, she will see Naraku dead this time.

_AN: Hey- so- this is the beginning to what I plan to make a multi-chapter fic. Any constructive-criticism is appreciated, as well as any other comments. Thank you for reading this piece. Peace out._


	2. Alive

**Alive **

Disclaimer: You know the drill. It's Takahashi's.

_One Year Ago_

The sun is bright, the sky is blue, and the forest is a lush, endless sea of green. Lying down on the grass, next to a sleeping Shippou, Kagome couldn't keep from smiling. On days like this, surrounded by her friends with the sun warm on her face, she could forget about the modern world, school, even Naraku. She was just a normal teenager, relaxing and having fun.

"Oi, Kagome."

She smiled to herself. A normal teenager spending time with her boyfriend… She closed her eyes and let herself imagine it. Indulgence in certain fantasies was perfectly healthy. Everyone did it.

Yes, her boyfriend. Warm fingers and a swift grin, all for her. Butterscotch eyes and a low, rumbling voice in her ear, telling her-

"Oi, Kagome, I can't find the ramen."

She shut her eyes tighter, stretching the moment, the dream, not wanting to slip back into reality. Soft lips, trailing across her neck, licking behind her ear, soft, loving words, meant for her, enveloping her…

"Oi, bitch, wake up!"

Her eyes snapped open to reveal two gold eyes, staring intently at her face with the superficial annoyance he always used to cover his true feelings. Sighing, she sat up, rubbed her eyes, and leisurely stretched.

Gazing up into his eyes, she gently placed a hand on his arm. "Inuyasha," she murmured.

Ramen forgotten, she watched him blush slightly and stare down at his arm where her hand held him. She wondered vaguely if he wished it were another's hand there instead. When he finally looked back up at her, she held his eyes for a moment, before withdrawing her hand. Brushing the dirt off her skirt, she rose and looked down at him. When he gave her that heart-stopping, lost look of his, she broke out into the dazzling smile that served as her own shield against the world.

"C'mon, Inuyasha, I'll go find that ramen for you."

He stood up then, and when their eyes met again, he was again the perfect image of the irate hanyou looking for a snack. Mask in place just as firmly as her own.

"Bout time, bitch."

She turned to walk ahead of him in order to hide her small, adoring smile.

ooOoo

It was when he saw her bow, snapped in two and lying discarded on the ground that he began to worry. That he began to panic.

He raced through the forest, looking for any sign of her, any clue that might lead him to her. He saw evidence of a hasty flight through the underbrush, of scrapes and tumbles as she undoubtedly fled for her life. In the distance he heard a scream and increased his speed, driven by pure adrenaline.

He was half-crazed by the time he got to her, barely in time.

He leapt to get in front of her, to place his body between hers and that of the encroaching oni. It was a huge thing, monstrous. He could smell her fear, her terror. The sensation made him growl, low in his throat. _How dare_ anything frighten _his _Kagome. He didn't even bother to examine that thought before he instinctively crouched down protectively in front of her, hands working familiarly to ready Tetsusaiga for the killing blow.

Behind him he could hear her panting, practically taste the cold sweat trickling down her face, her neck. He silently gauged the size, the strength, of his eminent opponent. But all he could think of was Kagome. She flooded his senses, blocked out everything but the desire to make that awful, erratic beating of her heart stop.

He saw red, and in one blood-drenched second the creature was dead.

Gradually, her heart returned to its normal pace, and when he turned around to look at her, to inspect her for any injuries, any scratches, any missing hairs, she offered him the most beautiful smile he thought he had ever seen. Ever.

"Inuyasha," she murmured. "Thank you."

Scoffing, he folded his arms over his chest and looked away to hide the sudden blush that had risen unbidden to warm his cheeks.

"Keh. You know I'll always protect you, bitch."

When he finally looked down at her he couldn't help softening. Reaching out a clawed finger under her chin, he tilted her face up to look her in the eyes. "Kagome…" he began, "I'll always protect you. Always."

ooOoo

Snuggling down beneath the fabric of her sleeping bag, with Shippou sleeping soundly, ear to her heart, Kagome sighed contentedly. Warm and safe, that was how she felt. Above her, a certain hanyou perched in a tree, keeping a silent vigil. Encircling her, Miroku and Sango slept, Sango just out of reach of Miroku's wandering hands.

Everyday she sensed her friends' urgency increase, as they steadily gained on their quarry. She glanced over at Miroku, studied his face, his right hand, the carefully cheerful smile always on his face. She moved her gaze over to Sango, saw the pain buried deep in her brown eyes by the flickering light of the fire. She didn't even bother sending her eyes into the dense foliage above her head to examine Inuyasha's face. She didn't need to.

Yes, she thought, this was important.

With a silent prayer to whatever higher entity could hear her, she settled in to sleep.

ooOoo

"Mama, I'm gonna be late!" she whined as her mother stubbornly continued to stuff medicines and treats for her friends into her battered yellow backpack.

"Mama, they're not gonna miss any of this stuff!"

"There!" her mother pronounced as she clapped her hands together, as if to add a touch of profoundness to her accomplishment. "Everything's together, Kagome-chan!"

Softening, she smiled warmly at her mother. "Thank you, Mama."

She was just turning to go when her mother caught her sleeve. "Kagome, don't you have a hug for your mother?"

With a quick, tight hug, she was on her way. She was already in the well-house when she heard her mother call out to her, almost inaudibly from this distance. "Kagome, when will you be back?"

"One week!" she shouted.

By the time the sound reached her mother, she was already gone, disappeared down a magic well.

ooOoo

"Well, I suppose it's a way to get to know people better," she told Miroku as they walked sedately down the forest path. Inuyasha was up ahead scouting, but so far there was no sign of Naraku, and so there was no urgency to move faster. Best to rest up, they had agreed. No use getting worn down.

"Really?" Miroku asked her with a glassy brightness to his eyes.

"Like at a party, when you're just getting to know people… It's like an ice breaker!"

Miroku frowned. "Ice breaker?"

"It's a figure of speech… like, a way to make people comfortable around each other…" Seeing the incomprehension on his face, Kagome gave up. "Never mind."

"But this game- Spin the Bottle- it's a _kissing _game?"

She eyed him warily. "_Yeah_…"

Rubbing his hand together, Miroku marched over to where Sango was standing and dragged her over. She exchanged a knowing look with the kitsune perched on her shoulder.

"And can we play it _now_?" His hand moving with the supernatural speed of a lecher, he quickly squeezed Sango's ass.

The slap rang in the air for at least a minute, echoing among the trees.

Hanging her head, Kagome moved on ahead.

A flash of red caught her eye. Inuyasha… He was back. His hair was a mess, his face sheening with a light layer of perspiration. There was a barely concealed rage, a bloodlust, lurking beneath his eyes, a predatory feeling of tightly wound muscles to him, a feeling of restlessness, one which she easily recognized. He had caught Naraku's scent.

ooOoo

It _was _bad.

Kohaku's body was like a crumpled tissue on the ground. Broken. Dead. Tears streamed down her face when she thought of him. Sango's beloved brother. Dead. The bruises left on Sango's body by Miroku's desperate desire to hold her back, unwilling to lose her to her sorrow. "Leave the fighting to Inuyasha," he had said. "You can't fight him when you're like this." _You have to calm down first._ "Bide your time." _Just don't throw your life away in one meaningless gesture. Just stay with me._

Naraku was stronger now than he had ever been. There was no doubting that. He now held all but three pieces of the Shikon no Tama. With Kohaku's piece taken from him, there remained only Kouga's two and the one dangling between her breasts.

Something was tickling the back of her mind. Worry prickled there, with the realization that both Sango and Miroku were now essentially out of the battle. That left Inuyasha to fight, and she to help him in any way she could. But he was completely swallowed by a thick, roiling cloud of miasma. While she stood still, helpless, Naraku's searing miasma forced its way into his lungs, burned and melted any and all of his exposed skin. Soon it would reach her, and then her friends.

She was frightened. No. She was terrified. But she couldn't let it affect her. With tears blinding her, with her shirt filthy with blood and dirt, she felt helpless. But she couldn't let that get in her way. Righteous fury filled her. Compassion for her friends, for what they had lost, for everything this… _demon_ had taken from them, from Kikyo, from others she had never even met.

Picking up her bow, she notched an arrow and pulled it taught. Aiming it at the monster's chest, she released it with a silent prayer.

_Hit! _

The arrow burst through the air, scattering miasma with its pure light and heading towards Naraku. Kagome knew that the arrow couldn't break his protective barrier. Only Inuyasha's Red Tetsusaiga could do that… Yet she hoped… She thought she was imagining it, had to be. Yet… the arrow's aura of purification seemed to be… growing. Instead of bouncing uselessly off the barrier as she had expected, it instead slipped _through _the force-field, and found its way to Naraku. A maggot-white hand caught it and dissolved the arrow in a clenched fist before it could finish its work. Red eyes locked onto her face and focused in on her.

He held her trapped with the sheer force of his evil gaze. He seemed to have forgotten about Inuyasha altogether. Uselessly, the hanyou threw himself against the barrier, seeking a way in to fight his enemy. But to no avail. Naraku was just too strong.

Lifting a decayed and withered white hand to his face, Naraku snorted. Even when the arm suddenly crumbled beneath his eyes, he did not lose his cool. Instead, he threw back his head and laughed. That was perhaps the worst of it. Ugly, bulbous tumors grew out of his arm as he self-regenerated. In that moment, Kagome knew there was nothing she could do. Nothing at all.

With a thin, ghostly smirk, Naraku glared death at her. There was a sudden pulse of power. That was the last thing she remembered before she succumbed to darkness.

ooOoo

He watched transfixed with horror, even as he himself was tossed, as Kagome's body limply flew through the air before hitting the ground with a loud thud and an audible snapping of bones. Cold dread pooled in his stomach, making it heavy and the urge to empty it nearly irresistible.

Instead, he pulled himself up, first on hands and knees, then just knees, then, finally, relying heavily on the strength of Tetsusaiga, erect. He would not fail her. He would not fail her.

_I'll always protect you. Always._

He would not let her down.

Darting forward, sword in hand, prepared to strike, he raced towards her. But he was too late.

In the time it took him to blink, Naraku had made it there first. Staring down at her, the bastard seemed to be pondering something. Inuyasha rushed him, vainly hoping to take him before any more harm could befall his Kagome. But Naraku was just too goddamned fast. Scooping the girl up into his arms, he disappeared in a cloud of dark, curling fog.

Kagome was gone.

In his head, he heard him whisper across his mind.

_I've won, now, Inuyasha. She's mine. Next time you meet, I'll have her kill you._

Then… laughter, a dark, rich chuckle, inside his head.

Inuyasha sank to his knees. The thunder rolled and the sky broke.

_A/N: Sorry this chapter was kind of slow. It's not really my style to have so many characters happy at once, but I felt that the scenes were all necessary setup for my story. It'll be darker in the next chapter. Shout out to hushisushi, this fic couldn't happen without your support. Thanks to everyone else for reading. Peace out. _


	3. Alone Almost

**Alone… Almost**

_Disclaimer: Takahashi owns it. I would say it's regrettable, but it's really not. She's much better with these things than I am. _

Cold and dark. Her eyes fluttered open. There was no light. She began to panic. No light. Only dark.

The air was heavy. Dark. Inky. Black. She began to struggle. The air was too thick, too fluid. Impossible to breathe, to move, to _think_. The air pressed in on her, and she did not know whether to breathe it in or hold it back. Roiling nausea overtook her and with a heaving gasp, the air pushed past her lips, down her throat, into her lungs. She thought she might suffocate.

Lying there in complete disorientation, she listened. That was all. She listened to her frantic breath, the pumping, suctioning, _draining_ of her heart. She lay there for hours, or days, or maybe only minutes, in near complete silence. Nearly complete. Only the sounds of her rasping breath and the lurching of her heart filled the total _emptiness _of her surroundings.

But with the passing of time her thoughts began to organize. The heavy fog that had clouded her mind when she awoke began to dissipate. Kagome began to think. She began to puzzle. Slowly, Kagome began to piece together what had happened. The unbearable level of effort it took just to form coherent thoughts, just to work the cogs in her brain, almost made her give up. Almost. Instead she kept going. Kagome didn't give up.

She remembered… A storm. Dark clouds overhead. And…

A battle.

There was a battle. Yes! Of course! She was fighting… no, she was _protecting. _Protecting whom, though? While Kagome nibbled her lower lip, her brain slushed slowly through her memory, searching for something onto which to lock. Whom would she be protecting? Again and again she asked herself the question, but every attempt turned up nothing but failure as her mind uselessly tried to conjure up muddled image of something Kagome had already forgotten. Everything was just too fuzzy for her to think properly…

_Kagome! _

The voice ripped through her as cleanly and as neatly as a knife. Pain, bright, white pain, coursed through her blood, pulsed around her temples. And yet… If she tried just a little harder, held on just a little longer, looked just a little closer…

"Inuyasha."

The name broke past her lips in a high, confused staccato, almost too weak to hear.

And then-

She remembered. The battle, Kohaku's death, Inuyasha, forcing his way past Naraku's barrier, and her decision to stand up, to shoot the arrow, which led to… The last thing she remembered was a blinding flash of light, the desperate urge to run, to get as far away from that… _thing _as possible. And the shock of impact, the sickening feeling of bones snapping and innards stirring… But what had happened _after_? It was all blank after that.

Maybe she was blind.

Maybe she was dead.

She wasn't sure how to answer either of those questions, only wonder. Making noise could only have one of two outcomes. Either her friends would hear her, and see that she was awake, or something else would hear her… And come looking for her.

Tentatively, she called out into the dark, "Guys?" It was hushed, cautious, barely a breath on her lips.

At first, there was no response. Kagome wasn't sure whether to be relieved or to panic. Then came a soft, bemused chuckle from somewhere Kagome couldn't determine. It grew louder, and more confident, and, to Kagome's intense horror, closer. There was no mistaking that laugh.

"Did you sleep well, Kagome?"

ooOoo

At first, he had been almost too numb to react.

_I'll always protect you. _

The words kept swimming through his mind, an endless mantra. Everything else was filtered out.

Slowly, slowly, he lifted himself up, stood up straight as he could. He looked up at the sky. It was raining. Raining. Water everywhere, flowing downhill, draining, flooding the fields, pouring through the forest canopy. It was raining _hard_.

He looked over to his companions. Miroku, hands still clutching at a broken, distant Sango. Shippou, on the ground, wailing. He stared hard at Shippou, mind working out some idea almost too distant to discern.

_Kagome. _

That was it. That was what he needed to do. Fucking find Kagome and fucking slaughter Naraku. That was _exactly _what he must do.

He searched his surroundings, wondering vaguely how long he had been in his stupor. There was no time to waste.

"Oi, Miroku!"

At the sound of his name, the monk's attention slowly settled on him.

He waited for a response. There was none. Fine. "I'm leaving."

With a long, weary sigh, Miroku finally decided to speak. "Do you really think you'll find her?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation.

"Will you be coming back?"

"When I find her."

"Will you be gone long?"

"No."

ooOoo

It was still so dark, and yet, if she squinted, if she strained, she could see just the faintest outline of a man. And in the dark, bright, red eyes.

"Naraku." The words hissed past her lips in a single syllable.

A dark, barely visible smile, seen only by the glinting of white, white teeth in the shadows. "Kagome."

He knew her name. Shivers shot up her spine. _Of course_ he knew her name… But to actually _hear _it in those dark, curtaining tones… Cold sweat broke over her face. She had to keep her wits about her. She had to think. She had to think. She had to _think_.

Her thoughts were interrupted.

A chill hand darted out to touch her face, to trace at tears of which she hadn't even been aware. When he raised his wet fingertips to her lips, she began to shake.

No, no, _no_.

"What do you want?" she asked despairingly.

There was no answer. Only that _smile_.

"What do you want?" she asked again, stronger, less afraid. She would not show him fear. She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't do it.

No answer.

Anger flashing, she stood. "What do you _want!?_" she screamed.

"You."

Kagome closed her eyes and passed into oblivion.

ooOoo

He felt like he'd been looking for her for an eternity. No, longer. But he would not stop. He could not stop. He couldn't _afford _to stop. To stop would be to abandon her. To stop would be to fail, miserably, to lose her. To lose her to Naraku. He couldn't let that happen.

But every now and then he stopped, stopped to figure out how long it had been since Kagome had been taken. Time was of the essence, and the more aware he was of it, the better it would be for Kagome. If there still was a Kagome.

_No! _

Every now and then he stopped, to figure out how long it had been since Kagome had been taken from him, because time was of the essence, and if he lost track of it, she would suffer, and he _couldn't let that happen_. He had promised to protect her, and as long as she was out there, he would never stop.

Never.

So, he kept moving, kept tracking, kept _trying_.

But as time passed, he began to lose hope.

It had been raining for days, washing away any signs, any scents, that wouldn't have already faded by now anyway. He was running in circles, and he knew it. But he couldn't give up. It was simply out of the question.

ooOoo

One thing she had learned to rely on was that it was always dark. Always. He left her alone. Most of the time. And time was what she had. Time to plan. Time to scheme. She _had _to escape, there was simply no other option. She couldn't rely on Inuyasha to save her. She simply couldn't afford to. The need to survive pressed down on her, formed a shallow pressure over her ribcage, and she couldn't ignore it. It was imperative that she make it out. So she had to think, and think well.

He had said he wanted her. Specifically. What did that mean, what did that mean, what did that _mean!? _She wondered if he had been screwing with her. He might have been. He was good with head games. She had to remember that. Everything he said was a lie. She had to make that assumption. Anything else was too dangerous to believe.

But then, she realized, she couldn't believe _anything_. Not anything at all. She couldn't assume the opposite of whatever he said was true, because he might slip _that _in to confuse her. So she had to believe in nothing, nothing at all. That was what she had to do. That was what she had to do.

She had no concept of time, and that was okay. She didn't mind. She had no appointments, she had no obligations. Her only priority was to get out, and get out _fast_.

For the first few days, weeks, months, minutes of her captivity, she tried to figure out when the servants would appear to feed her and help her relieve herself. But there was no rhyme, no reason. It was, as far as she could tell, completely random.

The first time the servants had come to take her to relieve herself, she had hoped, somewhat cunningly, that she would be able to study the layout of her prison as she commuted through the halls. But to her unceasing frustration and sickening despair, she found that the halls were as dark as her cell.

So, that left her with Option #2. Get the Hell Out. Now.

But that still took planning. Lots of planning. It didn't take much to realize that the best time would be somewhat immediately after the servants left. But that left the question of _when_. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that it didn't really matter. Every moment here was the same. So, without any particular reasoning behind it, she one day decided that _when _was _now_.

By her intensely thought-over, probably inaccurate calculations, her jailors had left her approximately twelve minutes ago. She couldn't worry over time spent counting that out, the slow, shaky breaths she had forced herself to take. She couldn't worry about precision, now. She could only pray for luck.

Slowly, she stood, and, being careful, oh, _so _careful, not to make any attention-grabbing noise or let her weight squeak at the floor boards, she shuffled over to where she believed stood the sliding doors.

It was dark outside. It was always dark though. With her palms pressed up against the walls, she stealthily made her way down the long, long wall. She found no guards, no sentries, nothing to impede her escape. Luck was with her.

Hours seemed to pass, but she did not mind. Cold sweat snaked down her neck, wetted her hair, made her palms sticky. Adrenaline coursed through her until she was hardly able to support her own weight, and her knees gave way beneath her. But she could not allow herself to give in. She had to keep moving. So she did.

Then- a glowing. A soft, bright light, brighter and lighter than anything she had ever seen.

The Entrance.

Head held high, Kagome Higurashi walked out the door.

ooOoo

Miroku had caught up. Miroku had goddamn fucking caught up to _him_. He really was going in fucking circles. There was just no other explanation. Or-

He had wandered back to the fucking village. That was it. He had gone in a big, giant, goddamn fucking loop and now he was back.

"Inuyasha…"

"Don't."

"We loved Kagome-sama, too, Inuyasha."

"Don't."

"Inuyasha." Sango's voice was dry as death.

He looked over to her, and in her he saw a comrade.

"Inuyasha." Her voice was steel. "We _will_ find her."

And they would.

ooOoo

Kagome Higurashi walked out the door and ran into her captor. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her, a cruel, condescending smile. He had known. He had known. He had let her get all that way, just to fail…

And that was when she knew.

There was no escape.

_A/N: So, I hope this chapter is thoroughly satisfying. Thanks and love to my wonderful beta, hushisushi, and to everyone who reviewed. You know who you are. All… two of you. Next chapter should be coming up this weekend, so long as doesn't block me from updating again, so, basically, enjoy! _


	4. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Down the Rabbit Hole **

_Disclaimer: Takahashi owns it… Which would make sense, since this is fanfiction and all… _

The cold fingers which wrapped around her arms and sank into the soft flesh of her arms were like daggers, slitting the throat of all of Kagome's hopes. A weaker girl might have snapped then, shattered like glass crystal. But she wouldn't do it. She wouldn't do it.

Lifting her pale grey eyes to meet the dull red ones hovering over her, she felt a shiver roll down her spine. The barest smile touched his lips. Bile began to roil in her stomach.

Averting her gaze, she tried to look at anything but him. Anything but him. Her focus fell on the entrance, and her illness came screaming up her throat all over again. He had let her get so close. So close. She had been _there_. She had almost escaped. He had let her believe….

No!

No, she could survive this. She could survive this. She was Kagome Higurashi. She could handle anything.

When she finally risked another look at her captor, all of her delusions crumbled.

She wasn't going to make it.

ooOoo

He had never felt so impatient before. Never fucking once. He knew and Sango knew and Miroku fucking knew that they had to get fucking moving. There was no other option. He could not, he would not let things last any longer.

He had to save Kagome.

But some things were easier said than done. Wasn't that fucking right?

Sango put on a brave front. He respected her tremendously for it. She was out there, with him, every day, searching, seeking, _hunting_. There was something new in Sango's demeanor, a quality which he didn't particularly care to examine. It could wait.

But at night, when they met another day of failure, of hitting a brick wall, she collapsed. She wept every night, even if she did try to hide it, and every day she grew more withdrawn. This wasn't the Sango he was used to. But she would do. She was still useful, and so long as she was useful, he would stay with her.

He grew tired of waiting for them at night, Sango and Miroku. There were times where he would have relished snapping Miroku's neck for his pessimism. But without Miroku, Sango wouldn't get up in the morning, and without the goddamned monk he would lose a valuable ally.

He couldn't let that happen. If putting up with Sango and Miroku meant finding Kagome one second faster, he would do it. He would fucking do it. But still….

If it were up to him, they wouldn't stop at all.

ooOoo

She wondered dully what he was going to do to her. Everything seemed very far away and very distant. A very, very small and quiet part of herself wondered if she was in denial. But she didn't wonder for long. There was too much else to occupy her fuzzy thoughts with.

He had let her get so far… Only to fail… She had been so close, so close… She wondered if she would ever see the light again.

With his arms wrapped around her, pulling her back into his dark, dark fortress, she knew the answer. This was where she'd spend forever. Forever.

She was shaking, now, harder, more intensely. Was she cold?

She couldn't tell.

He tossed her down on the mat, in a cold, wet, dark room. She couldn't even distinguish if it was her own. She looked up at him, at the red haze that filmed over his eyes.

Cold, moist fear settled over her brow. Her stomach flipped, and feeling suddenly, nauseatingly, returned to her body.

Her heart lurched in her chest as her addled brain cast furtive glances around the room, trying, miserably, desperately, to understand where she was. When she looked up at him again, when she saw the naked lust in his eyes and the cruel curve of his lips, she vomited.

ooOoo

They had heard rumors in a nearby village. Crops wilting, people mysteriously growing sick and dying, wasting away and withering until they were just sagging sacks of flesh and hollow skeletons… Naraku was nearby.

Naraku was nearby.

He licked his lips, and he could almost taste the bastard's blood in his mouth. When he flexed his hands and his knuckles gave that sickening pop, he could feel the dirty blood on his claws.

Each day they pressed a little farther forward, and each day the days grew darker, the villages dwindled to fewer and farther between, and his dark fantasies few more vivid.

"Inuyasha…"

He turned to consider the monk standing behind him. It was late, but they kept moving, kept moving because there was no other option. He would not have it; he must find Kagome at any price, and the closer he came the more his resolve to keep moving strengthened. But it was still very, very late.

Behind him, Miroku was half-carrying, half-dragging a bedraggled looking Sango. The smell of salt told him she was crying, if only silently. It was late now, and, as per always, Sango's hard exterior had cracked to reveal a barely-functioning core. So much for his "ally." She grew more and more like an invalid every day.

He glanced over to where Shippou was perched on Miroku's shoulder. The kitsune never spoke anymore, never chirped or giggled or anything. He had become an unnatural child, pale and withdrawn. He thought the red of his hair and the green of his eyes had become duller, recently, but he didn't pay any attention. He didn't really care.

He quirked an eyebrow to show Miroku he was listening.

"We're getting very close now… I can feel it." The monk lifted his cursed hand and flexed it, as if the hand itself ached from being so near its curser.

He snorted. "And?"

"I think we should stop. Plan."

"No. Fucking. Way."

The monk just sighed. "Inuyasha, think clearly for a moment. It would be unwise, possibly even deadly, to go in unprepared. Last time… Last time we barely made it out alive. I'm not going to sacrifice my life for a meaningless gesture."

He saw red. He saw hot, coursing blood before his eyes, and it took every ounce of grim determination and every particle of concentration to subdue the urge to rip the monk's throat out.

Growling low in his throat, he turned to fully face Miroku as the monk continued. He could smell the faintest traces of fear on him, and Shippou, too. There was nothing from Sango.

"Inuyasha, listen to me. If we go in headlong and we fuck this up, if we fail, then Kagome's life will be forfeit. She'll pay for your stubborn foolishness. Don't make her pay for your idiocy."

Inuyasha had no answer for that.

ooOoo

His laughter, dark and rich and _full_, filled her ears.

"Do I sicken you that much, Kagome?"

The use of her name only made her heave harder.

Her spasming body only made his laughter grow more jeering.

She wasn't sure if she passed out then, but she didn't care, either.

What she did know was that one moment she was emptying her body of everything she could, emptying her mind of schemes, her soul of self-pity, and her heart of hope, and the next she was on the futon, all over again.

It was dark, dark and cold.

Days and days passed. Days and days and years and years, and still no change. Except for one. Now, inside her head, laughter.

_He'll never come for you, _he told her.

_He would have been here by now._

_He doesn't care._

She woke up to his voice ringing in her ears and went to sleep with it buzzing, whispering, just beyond the reaches of audibility. When she dreamt, she dreamt he was there, touching her, feeling her, cold, dry hands on her body, stroking her, violating her.

She felt weak, exhausted. She no longer ate, and when, very rarely, she was hungry, her disturbed imagination made her throw it right back up again.

She was a ghost.

_He'll never come for you._

_He would have been here by now._

_He doesn't care. Not about you._

_He'll never come for you._

_He probably hasn't even noticed that you're gone._

_You were just his shard-detector. But he never really needed you._

_He has Kikyo. _

_You were just superfluous. _

_A copy._

_Insignificant. _

At first she would cover her ears and scream, scream until the voice was pitched down to a mere whisper in the back of her mind. But it never went away again. Not fully. She was never alone, and she was never able to think clearly again.

ooOoo

"What exactly are you fucking saying, monk?"

"I don't think we're ready for this."

"What the fuck does that mean?! There is no '_ready_.' There's only 'I'm here to fucking tear Naraku's throat out and save Kagome.' That's it."

Miroku just sighed.

Fuck him.

"Inuyasha, I beg you to think clearly. For once, act like a rational adult and not a toddler."

His ears flattened against his head.

_Kagome_.

He listened, for her sake.

"Last time we fought, we were defeated. Why? Because we weren't ready for what happened. We weren't ready. This time, we must be ready."

"And how do you think we'll get ready?"

"Easy. What have we got that Naraku doesn't?"

For some reason, it seemed like the answer was staring him in the face.

He looked over at Shippou, with his ashy complexion and too thin frame.

His gaze slipped over to Sango, curled tightly in a ball, eyes staring out at nothing.

After a long, empty silence, Miroku answered for him.

"Revenge."

Sango's attention snapped over to their conversation. A glitter formed in her eyes, and when she sat up and spoke for the first time in days, there was an undertone of rejuvenation in her voice.

"Yes," she breathed.

Miroku's mouth curved in a thin, hard line, more a grimace than a smile.

Nodding, Inuyasha felt it thrum through him. Revenge. The motivation to fight. This time they would be careful. They would be meticulous. They wouldn't just barge in and make a mad attempt for Kagome. Or maybe they would. Who knew?

He felt dizzy from all the circles they had just walked in. For some reason, it seemed like he had walked this path before, like every question was asked because of the answer and every answer answered by the question. It was a perfect loop: his search for Kagome, Sango's spiraling emotional state, and even Miroku's logic. It was all big, gigantic, fucking loop, and he loved it.

For the first time in a long time, he felt like laughing.

_A/N: So, this chapter took a while to start writing… "Real Life" issues and all… But, I think chapter 5 will actually be up this weekend as well, so it'll make up for the chapter being a bit short…Thanks to my beta, hushisushi, for reading and loving the good, and for trashing and flaming the bad. Sometimes. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed; it really means a lot to me and keeps me writing. _

_Peace out. _


	5. To Believe

**To Believe **

_Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns it… Disclaimers are so fucking boring. _

It was dark whether her eyes were open or closed. She found that, over time, her ability to _imagine _had faded, until even her dreams were grey at best. There was no color, other than perhaps a deep, bloody red, or perhaps the glow of maggot white flesh in the dark.

She felt nothing. The room _used _to be cold. She was sure of it. At least, she thought so. Wanted to think so.

But now it was nothing. Neither warm, nor hot, nor anything in between. Just a blank nothingness. A distant, tiny, nearly microscopic part of what used to be Kagome Higurashi's mind told her she was just numb.

The rest of her just wondered, if in a vague way, what had happened.

As time went on, she began to question whether there had been any physical _being _to her existence at all.

But she could still smell, still taste… She thought.

The room smelled of something old and dank- musty, maybe? Grimy. Moldy. Yes.

And in her mouth there was the perpetual taste of bile and acid roiling around her tongue. She forgot any other taste had ever existed.

Though she generally sensed the deterioration of most of her senses, her hearing had grown more acute than ever.

She heard each creak of floor board, each fluttering of insect wings, each rasping breath He took as he gazed on her nearly catatonic form or as He sat scheming in His rooms on the other side of this Hell.

She heard His voice, and did her best to ignore it, to push it out, to get it as far away from her as possible. It never worked. She always failed.

He whispered caresses against the shell of her ear, and, little by little, she began to succumb to His seduction.

_He has never cared for you…_

Hadn't he?

_He's not even looking for you. _

Laughter-

_Do you want to see him? _

…

_I can show him to you… Do you want that, Kagome?_

Her name on His tongue sent shivers racing up and down her spine. But she did not answer him.

And then-

_Inuyasha. Warm, dry, smiling, a red-robed miko wrapped in his arms, firelight making her expression almost human, almost loving. But there was no doubt about Inuyasha. With his arms about her, he was there to stay. There were no thoughts for the unfortunate girl who had fallen into the fell hands of his enemy. _

A gasping sob, and it was over. There was no more hope for Kagome.

What she felt next should have startled her. But, somehow, it didn't.

A moist, rough tongue trailed across her cheeks, and, very unsettlingly, drank in her tears.

_Kagome. _

She listened.

_I would never toss you aside. I would never let you go. _

Ever so slightly, she leaned into his touch.

In her head, there was only laughter.

She wasn't sure whether it was His or her own.

ooOoo

The path was old and so worn that he wondered when was the last time anyone had come this way. Looking around, and feeling the jaki in the air, he thought that he would rather not be there himself. Except…

_Kagome needed him. _

Resolutely, he strode on ahead, his mind never wandering from the task ahead of him.

They had planned every aspect of their attack with an attention to detail completely alien to Inuyasha. Were the need less great, he would have snorted and let the plans roll of his shoulders like water. But he couldn't let that happen, this time.

They needed a way to scout Naraku's fortress without being detected. That was the most important, a way to get in without Naraku being prescient of their offensive.

And that was what brought him here, nearly as far away from his Kagome as it got, on his way to see a certain witch. An old memory, of a withered old woman with white, scraggly hair and wide, black eyes. Even he shuddered when he thought of those eyes, with their pupils so big they devoured the iris.

It was to this witch he must go to plead for a way to enter Naraku's domain undetected.

Clutching at Kagome's jar of shikon shards, he was glad he had a powerful bargaining piece.

ooOoo

She felt Him moving over her, against her, inside of her, and she did nothing. She did not move, did not breathe, did not blink. Instead, she just stared straight ahead, past His smothering shoulder, white and angular, and into the depthless black space beyond Him.

And it was always dark, whether her eyes were open or closed.

Feeling him against her, flushed against her skin (which she liked to imagine was almost as white as His now), she realized with a small, breathless joy that she _could _feel.

She felt His hands oozing poison down her body in what she imagined were supposed to be caresses. She felt Him inside her, the hard pain of Him tearing at her until she bled. She felt Him when He released, felt the convulsive shutters of corruption slash through her body when He came.

And it was this _feeling _which planted the seed of thought inside her once more.

Lying there, submissive beneath him, she began to dream.

She knew, at this point, that nothing was real and that everything was true.

She knew that nothing in her life was ever going to be bell-schedule precise again, and that no one or no thing would ever come to save her again. Especially not him. She just couldn't rely on _him _anymore. She never really could.

But she _could _rely on the dark. It was ever present, and after awhile she began to see it as a friend. Her only friend. Often, at night, when He had finally left her, she imagined she could talk to it.

Sometimes she wondered if, when she finally escaped (because she had to always reassure herself that she _would _escape), she would be unable to see anything. But when she did imagine such a world, such an unreal escape, she was hit with a pang of remorse. It would be too bright. She would miss the dark.

Sometimes she liked to pretend she was a little mole, in its little den. She was unconcerned with the Big World. All that mattered was her warm little home and her immediate surroundings.

Or sometimes, when He loomed over her in all His cruel beauty, she liked to pretend she was just asleep, dreaming a terrible, terrible dream.

ooOoo

He had hoped it would not come to this. He really had. His grip around the little shikon jar tightened.

The old witch had said very little as he related what had happened to her.

Luckily, she _had _listened.

"Right now, this does not concern me," she began.

He felt the bile rise in his throat. She had to help him. She had to help him. She _had to help him_.

"But soon it will. If not tomorrow, then the next day, or the day after."

New hope filled him. She would help him. She would help him. She would-

"From what you've said, this miko of yours is… powerful."

A quick nod.

"And now she is in the hands of this Naraku."

Another nod, more strained than before.

"I wonder what he plans to do with her…" she mused.

A low, threatening growl emanated from his chest. Even when the old witch raised an eyebrow, the growling never stopped, only quieted.

"And so… I will help you."

"At what price?" he asked her quietly.

The old woman just laughed.

ooOoo

She wasn't sure when the broken feeling began. Today? Yesterday? Tomorrow?

She really couldn't say.

All that she could say was that she was hear, now, in this room where she had been her entire life, and, somewhere, the only other one to have ever been was lurking somewhere just out of sight.

Not that she could really see anything anyway.

But somewhere, at some point, she began to feel as though there was something… missing.

No, not missing.

Gone.

And she couldn't say for the life of her what it was.

Nothing was changed. Everything was just as it had always been- the room was still dark, she could still here His incessant chattering in her ear, still feel His cold body against hers… Everything was as it was as it should be and is.

And yet…

It was as though there were something missing from her. Something she had lost along the way.

Sometimes, when He visited her (and she liked to think of them as visits, like nice, civil people with wide ribboned hats and dandy suits… that was strange- wherever had _that _thought come from?) she spoke to him. Not often, but enough that she still sometimes remembered how to speak and what to say.

"I think sometimes I'm like a little bird without a wing," she giggled out one day as cold hands stroked her face.

He looked down at her and, almost inattentively, asked her what she meant.

"A bird without a wing!" she laughed, then, coughing, began to wheeze. "Without the most important part…" Her sentence trailed off in almost lackadaisically.

One of those fish white fingers caught her beneath the chin and tilted her face up to peer into those red, red eyes.

His mouth moved and formed words, but she was too lost. Even His words couldn't reach her now.

And then-

He pressed a hand against her forehead and sweeping darkness overtook her.

ooOoo

Pale and withdrawn, Inuyasha returned to his companions. But in his hand he held what they so desperately needed.

They looked at him with the glassy sheen of hope in their eyes. He wouldn't spoil this for them. The price was not theirs to pay.

He looked off into the distance.

His attention snapped back to them so suddenly that it was hard to say it was ever elsewhere.

"I have it."

He looked at them- Sango, with dark bruises shadowing the skin beneath her eyes; Miroku, face slack with exhaustion... And Shippou, green eyes so lackluster they might have been grey. These were his only allies. And what was he? A tired hanyou with no scruples left, only the fervent desire to save a girl who had the bad luck to fall into a magic well.

ooOoo

Something was inside her head, inside her mind, peeling her, coring her, plucking out the pit and pushing it aside. Realization struck like lightning, sharper than it had been since before Forever started to rule her reality.

He was _examining _her.

"Are you there?" she stage-whispered to the Something.

When the Something didn't respond, she began to grow distraught. And still the plucking continued. Like needles pricking at her skin. Or little ants nibbling at her limbs. A smile flitted across Kagome's shadowed face. Feeling the Something sort through her, she thought that maybe most of all it felt like a spoon scooping ice cream.

_Kagome._

When the Something finally spoke, Kagome felt compelled to listen. Somehow, its voice inside her head seemed familiar.

_Do you know me, Kagome? _the Something asked.

It _was_ familiar… But for some reason, when she tried to place it, there was nothing. She couldn't remember anything before or after this. It was all fuzzy… like snow. Erased. Gone.

The feeling of something being probed, inspected… Taken out and put back in.

"_Naraku_."

She wasn't sure whether the word was a curse or a prayer.

More pushing, pressing, tugging, _changing_. For some reason she felt like he was warping her, remolding her. It was a bad feeling.

But soon the feeling dissipated, and when he was finished, she was like an easel waiting for him to paint.

_A/N: Well, here's another fantabulous chapter added to my saga. Shout outs to hushisushi, my quasi-patient beta, and to LatinInuLuva, The Sacred Tree, and MyInuYashaObsession for reviewing. This chapter was a little bit difficult to write because it's such a bridge… and I'm pretty sure I'm going in circles at this point. Trying to write crazy is hard! Ah well. Chapter progress will be posted on my author page from now on, so if you want to see when the next chapter is coming out, just check there. See y'all next time. Peace out. _


	6. Calm Waters

**Calm Waters **

_Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all associated characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. _

Today was the day. Naraku's stronghold lay hunched against the horizon, its toxic miasma blighting out all life in the surrounding countryside.

"Are you ready for this?" Inuyasha asked his companions. "Because I can't afford to be held back by any weakness." He cast a hard eye at Sango and at Shippo, blanched and shaky on Miroku's shoulder. He pitied the little bastard, he really did. He shoved the thought aside. No time.

"I believe I understand what is to be done," Miroku muttered.

Inuyasha nodded, a quick thrust of his chin, and held out the crystal the witch had given to him. It pulsed violet for a moment, then grew darker again. "It's time. Now."

He did not wait to see if they followed.

ooOoo

She meant nothing and was nothing. She knew nothing of anyone or anything, but slowly, with great precision, she began to _see_—and it seemed to her as though it had been a very long time since she had seen anything at all. And the first thing she saw were eyes—lovely and red and rich like blood, like the very life that pooled between her legs even now—and a voice marvelous and so very tender as nothing she had ever heard before.

_Kagome_

A song, she thought, from her childhood—

_Kagome, look at me_

She looked at him and knew it—_Kagome_—to be her name as well.

ooOoo

He had swept into the fortress without detection. He had no care for whether guards were human or youkai or something else entirely—he slit every throat, rent every body—so that none would alert their master. Inuyasha would announce his presence to Naraku's face when he tore the coward's heart out through his asshole and fed it to him.

Behind him, he could hear the clang of Miroku's staff, the deadly whistle of Sango's hiraikotsu as it whipped through the air. The courtyard was neutralized, and still Naraku had not shown his face.

Inuyasha rushed the main doors, was just about to reach them when Kanna stepped out. A pearly force field, shining bright and milky, snapped together around the door and the girl.

Red Tetsusaiga did its trick; Inuyasha crashed through the threshold, unhindered by Kanna's barrier. He did not hesitate to tear her head from her body.

The interior was dark—too dark almost too see—_almost_. The passage in which he stood branched in two directions. Kagome's scent was everywhere, equally strong in both directions, and mingled with it, burning his nose, was Naraku's stench.

Time was short. With his detachment dead, Naraku must by now be sentient of their presence.

Around him, Inuyasha heard the sound of sick, satisfied laughter.

ooOoo

She was like smooth water, and His fingers were sinking stones whose ripples disturbed her peace and gave her motion, His voice the wind that swept her feelings into the swelling, cresting waves of the open sea. Without Him she was nothing. With Him she was a force of nature, beautiful, divine in her terrible apparition of death.

_Kagome Kagome my sweet and loving Kagome be sweet and open your lips part your thighs and let me in my obedient little Kagome my treasure mine_

The words, the whisper of a promise of a hope to be fulfilled, made her writhe, digging her shoulders into the rough futon beneath her and arching into Him.

Yes, yes, for this she would do—

_Kagome my Kagome—Kill Inuyasha_

anything.

ooOoo

Her scent had been everywhere, maddeningly every_fucking_where, in this wretched shithole of a fortress. Smeared along the walls, trailing the floor, dripping from the sealing with the fucking insistent rain. Kagome had seeped into the dirt itself and, because of that, he feared.

Finally, in a result of blind luck, he had stumbled upon her.

She was quiet, knees tucked up under her chin, staring straight ahead. She was also filthy.

He approached her quietly. "Kagome?"

"That's my name," she murmured.

"Kagome, are you hurt?" Stupid question. He could smell the blood on her. Another step, and he could smell it permeating from her lips, her eyes, her fingers and between her legs. A roll of nausea worked its way through him, and then rage, terrible rage as he considered what the monster had done to his Kagome. Ruthlessly he smothered the feeling. He would need it when the time came to exterminate the bastard. For now, he had to get Kagome out of here. "Kagome?"

No response.

_Shit_. "Oi, Kagome, look at me!"

She raised her eyes.

They were not the blank he had been expecting. Instead, a feverish intensity glowed within them.

With a grace not native to the girl he had known a few simple weeks ago, she stood. "Inuyasha." It was not a question, but a statement.

He tensed. Her scent—it permeated the building, rolled down the walls, and it terrified him, this scent of hers, because it bespoke—_power_. When had Kagome ever possessed this level of power? She had always been strong, as a protector of the Shikon no Tama, but this!

A memory slid through his mind. A barrier—Naraku's—and an arrow, brilliant, pure, slipping through like claws through weak, soft flesh.

Kagome staggered towards him.

Inuyasha reached out his arms, braced to catch her, to carry her out to safety. Strange, that he hadn't run into Naraku yet, but not particularly unusual. No doubt he had set more traps to meet him on his way out. He was just pulling her into his arms when he felt it.

The sensation burst in his side where Kagome's hands touched him. She buried them into his flanks and for all his might, he could not shake her off. Her powers of purification snapped white heat into his body, sank into his blood and chased along his veins into his limbs. His brain sizzled, and he began to see black spots patter violently against his eyes.

She locked eyes with him, and he saw in them something alien and beautiful.

From the darkest corner of the room, he heard laughter.

"How does it feel, Inuyasha? Betrayed, again, by the woman you love?" came the sibilant voice.

Inuyasha could not speak. Boils formed and split in his mouth. In another moment, he risked total purification.

"Amazing, that she should still possess such strong miko powers, is it not? Here she stands, defiled as completely as I could make her. I possessed her and cored out her mind to the point of breaking and refilled it with the stuff of nightmares. She should be like rotting fruit inside, and yet—Well, you feel it, don't you?" Naraku stepped out from the shadows. He glided toward them and stopped within what should have been in Inuyasha's striking distance, if Kagome's attack were not paralyzing him. Naraku reached out a finger, stopping within a hair's breadth of Kagome's cheek. "Such a strong girl. I see why you cherish her."

"Enough." The word burbled out wet and bloody from Inuyasha's lips.

"She fought me for the longest time. But now—she'll do anything for me, Inuyasha. She'll kill you, her friends in the courtyard, the kitsune child, _all of them_. And then, who knows? She's got such a delicious talent—"

Miroku burst through the doors and, without hesitation, ripped open his kazaana. It was reckless. It was probably hopelessly stupid. But it _worked_.

Naraku's attention was shifted for just the faintest moment. Long enough to break Naraku's hold over Kagome's mind for a precious, desperately needed second.

For just that second, Kagome's attack weakened an infinitesimal amount.

"I said fucking _enough!_" Summoning the last remnant of his strength, Inuyasha took hold of Kagome and threw her hard against the paneled walls. Tetsusaiga pulsed at his side, urging him to draw it. "I'm done playing your games, Naraku. Tonight we settle this."

The saimyousho had already been released, poisoning Miroku. Time was short. He must finish this now if Miroku was to make it out of this battle alive.

He drew the blade.

Although Naraku raised his barrier, Inuyasha had no fear. Tetsusaiga already glowed a menacing red in his hand. He charged, prepared to land the blade home.

Kagome stepped in front of him.

Tetsusaiga pierced the girl's breast, and she crumpled.

"A high price to pay, Inuyasha." Naraku sneered as he began his inevitable retreat. "Mind that I will not be willing to make it in the future."

There was no time to pay any attention to the coward. Kagome lay bleeding out in his arms, Miroku dying by slow degrees by the door. He cupped his clawed hands over her sodden shirt, trying in vain to staunch the blood. Pressure, he thought. Enough pressure and she will survive this.

"Sango! Shippo!" he screamed raggedly. "Sango!"

The woman crashed through the doors riding Kirara. She let out a strangled cry when she saw Kagome's pale sweaty face and the dark liquid gushing between his fingers.

"Tear off some fabric from my sleeve. Now! I need to bind this before she bleeds out."

Sango stepped forward and obliged, handing him the red shred with still hands.

"Don't just stand there. Take care of Miroku," he snapped.

Hurriedly, she fed the monk the last remnants of Kagome's world's medicine.

"What happened to Kagome?" Sango asked, her voice hushed.

"She got in the way defending Naraku." He spat a long string of curses. "She got caught with Tetsusaiga."

The woman's eyes bulged, but she said nothing. Probably for the best.

"Inuyasha, she's losing a lot of blood. If we don't get her help now, she'll die."

"I know."

"Inuyasha?"

He stood.

"Should we load her on Kirara? I think she can carry both Kagome and Miroku."

"No time. I'm taking her. Meet back at Kaede's village."

"That's weeks from here! What if she doesn't make it?"

He fixed on her his coldest look. How he had desired to end this woman for her weakness the last few weeks. And now, when her strength had, inexplicably, returned, he wished it even more. He understood that these black feelings were not how he should feel toward a friend and an ally.

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered beside Kagome.

"She'll make it. I swear it, Sango, she'll make it." Carefully, Inuyasha swept her up and settled her on her back. "Find me in Kaede's village. If I'm not there, I'll leave word."

Against his back, Inuyasha felt the incessant heat of Kagome's blood boiling beneath the surface of her thin skin. He did not have long. If he was going to save her, he had to do it now.

_A/N_: _Wow. This was just a pathetically long time between updates. Thank you to all who have reviewed and to those who have been patient over the hiatus! _


	7. Heaven's Blood Drips Thick

**Heaven's Blood Drips Thick**

_Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all associated characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. _

Inuyasha ran. For a time, Kagome had murmured against his back, said things he would have rather forgotten altogether. Now she lay silent. He did not dare dwell on what that meant.

Several hours had elapsed since leaving Naraku's stronghold. The decaying plant matter and sick earth had finally given way to green grass.

There must be a village soon. There must.

Another fifteen minutes of running, and Inuyasha could smell cooking fires trailing downwind. He redoubled his efforts, hands clasped tightly under Kagome's limp thighs.

An arrow whizzed past his head, missing by the barest fraction.

Kikyo stepped out from behind a tree, silent as only the dead could be.

He paused. He did not have the energy for Kikyo. Not right now. But maybe…

Her eyes were on Kagome. "Get rid of the girl."

"Kikyo..?"

"She's infected. Get rid of her."

An idea bloomed in Inuyasha's mind. "Can you save her?"

"She's already half gone."

"She did the same for you not too long ago. Can you save her? For me, Kikyo, will you save her?"

The dead miko took a moment to consider. "Very well. Take off your haori and lay her down on it."

Juggling the unconscious, wounded girl while taking off his haori was a difficult matter, but he finally succeeded and placed Kagome gently on to the ground.

Kikyo knelt at her side. Her demeanor changed entirely from scornful rival to caring doctor. With tender hands she unknotted the torn scrap binding Kagome's shoulder and pulled aside the matted shirt to examine the wound. "This is serious. What did this? A sword?"

"Tetsusaiga."

She reached a finger out to touch the blood and hissed. The skin that had connected with Kagome's blood turned black. "Inuyasha, what has this foolish girl allowed to happen to her?"

"It's not her fault! Now, are you going to help her or are you wasting my time? Because I don't have fucking forever to wait on your prissy little questions!"

Kikyo pursed her lips. From the pouch around her waist she pulled some herbs, a grinding stone and a bowl. "These will prevent infection and help to seal the wound. She'll need to stay resting, though, for at least two weeks before she can move again. If you travel cross country with her, the wound will reopen, and there is no guarantee you'll find another with my skill in medicine."

"Fine. I'll make camp."

"There's another thing, Inuyasha."

"What?" he asked warily.

"The infection I spoke of. I can see it, seeping from her pours. Is this…?"

"Naraku's work. The bastard kidnapped her and has had her for weeks."

The look Kikyo gave Kagome spoke volumes. She too had been in Naraku's possession. She too had been coveted by the beast. She had never succumbed to this total annihilation of mind and spirit.

Of course, Inuyasha mused, she had, in life, been willing enough to betray the man she loved and end her own life because of the same monster's tricks.

Finished applying the poultice and wrapping fresh bindings over Kagome's breast, Kikyo leaned back. She tilted her head to the side. Again she ventured a hand forward, pulling it back just in time to avoid another shock. "How did he do this?" she wondered aloud. "He cannot use the shikon shards to bewitch a guardian of the jewel, and the girl should have had the mental fortitude to withstand all of this. So how—"

"How doesn't matter. Are you finished?"

Kikyo pinned those flat grey eyes on him. "Inuyasha, if she is to survive this day, I must treat the infection now. Any longer and her body will collapse from the strain. Her vitals are already lagging. I wouldn't be surprised if she is somehow linked to Naraku himself now, her lifeforce joined to his physical presence."

Inuyasha growled, deep in his throat. "_What?_" The word sounded inhuman from his throat.

"It is as I said. She appears to be linked. Naraku has crawled into the deepest part of her and made that place his home. If I do not address this now, she will very likely die."

He could not look at her anymore. The world swam red before him, his surroundings flickering manically. If he did not gain control soon, he feared his control over his youkai blood might snap, tetsusaiga or no tetsusaiga.

He could hear Kikyo in the background. The sudden intake of breath as she laid her hands palm down to Kagome's stomach. The sizzle and burn as the blood contacted with the miko's bare hands. And then Kagome screamed.

Inuyasha clenched his fists until blood ran out from the puncture wounds his claws had caused.

Kagome's screams grew louder.

He worried they would attract unwanted youkai attention.

Her back arched and she howled.

His ears hurt. He wanted to cover them but would not let himself be so weak. It had been his weakness which had put Kagome in such terrible danger in the first place.

He turned to watch the two women he loved. The same woman? The same soul, at least. For that reason, despite Kikyo's apparent reticence or her excuses, the two women always aided each other, even when the spiritual drain might mean death.

The radiance of the purification was almost too much to bear. How Kikyo could see beyond it was a mystery to him.

When Kagome's screams became so loud all the birds had left and he feared his eardrums might burst, when her back arched and her bones slithered and crunched to the point where Inuyasha feared they would break, at that instant Kikyo finally pulled back. Kagome's body went limp, and her eyes, which he only now realized had been open, staring directly at him, closed. The proceeding silence hang heavy and dense in the air.

Inuyasha looked to Kikyo, trying to read from her expression whether or not the operation had been a success.

Reading him as she had always read him, she answered, "It is done. I have done the best I could. Naraku has been rooted from her. However, there is a residue… There is a residue I could not lift. I suspect it was there before Naraku ever touched her. I suspect it's how he found his way in."

"What are you saying?"

"That Kagome's soul was sick long before Naraku got to her."

"How can that be true? Her powers of purification were as strong as ever—stronger every battle! Not five hours ago she nearly managed to purify _me_! With her bare hands! How the hell do you expect me to believe her soul was sick already?"

"I don't have an explanation for it. The only one who could decipher this is probably Kagome herself." Kikyo stood and brushed off her hakama. "Now, Inuyasha, will you kiss me?"

He did not want to. Kagome was not two feet away and her condition was still uncertain. Yet he owed Kikyo, as he would always owe her. Numbly, he assented as she pressed her cold, dry lips to his.

"Hmm, Inuyasha. I do not think you enjoy this as you used to. I would be jealous, except…" She placed a hand to his cheek. "She will not love you, not after what you've done." She kissed him again. "Do not worry. When you are dead, you'll enjoy this as much as I do." She placed one last kiss on his cheek before stepping back into the treeline and disappearing from sight and sense.

Inuyasha waited a few minutes before stepping toward Kagome and scooping her up. He needed to find a good place to camp, and soon.

Kikyo had been right. Kagome would not be strong enough to travel. Her heartbeat was just the faintest caress of muscle walls within her ribcage.

He found a cave nearby near a running stream. It would do. For now, there was nothing but to wait, and to hope Kagome woke up soon. He hoped she would not hate him for what he had sacrificed to save her.

_A/N: Yay Kikyo. I've finished plotting this out. It's going to be 10 chapters total and probably finished very soon. Thanks for reading. _


	8. While You Were Sleeping

**While You Were Sleeping **

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

* * *

She awakened to clear sunlight casting shaky shadows against the roof of a cave. Her shoulder ached and she did not know why. She attempted to sit up, but the shift of muscles tore something. She sucked air in through her teeth and fought down the urge to cry.

"Don't try to move." A warm, clawed hand pushed resistance against her good shoulder until she went limp under its touch. Familiar amber eyes frowned down at her, and the silvery hair that brushed against her face made her sneeze.

"Inuyasha?" She tried to speak but her throat felt tight, like there was a heavy stone sitting at the back of her tongue. She licked her lips and tried again. "Inuyasha, how long have I been asleep?"

ooOoo

He did not meet her eyes when he answered. He did not have the heart to tell her what had happened.

ooOoo

His voice had that soft quality about it, the one that she loved, and Kagome liked to think that was how his voice would have sounded all of the time if love had not betrayed him, if his mother had not died when he was so young, if he had not had to struggle in the limbo between human and youkai (if he had been born someone else).

So when he told her, "Not so long that I'm tired of protecting you," she took his word for it and let her eyes sink shut.

ooOoo

Kagome's wounds took less time to heal than he feared they would.

Everyday, Inuyasha cleansed them with cool water, wiping away the heavy dollops of dried blood and rewrapping the wound with crushed herbs to keep out infection.

After her initial reawakening, Kagome did not open her eyes again for several more days. After their first conversation, Inuyasha hoped that she would never remember her time with Naraku, and that he could bury those terrible weeks forever.

Inuyasha tried not to worry too much. Instead, he stuck to the schedule of cleaning and watching. He did not want her to leave his sight ever again.

Three days after Kagome first stirred, she opened her eyes as he leaned over her, and said, "I have the strangest feeling." She smiled and tugged on one of his forelocks. "I feel like I haven't seen you for weeks."

He grasped her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm coming out of a dream."

She furrowed her brow, eyes darting over his face. "Like I'm still not sure what happened."

ooOoo

She sat up.

Inuyasha tried to press her down, but she ignored him.

She reached out in front of her, grasping at empty air. "The last thing I remember, we were fighting Naraku. And then—" She shrugged, letting her hands fall down to her sides. "Nothing. Is that when I hurt my shoulder? Was it Naraku? Did he get me when I broke his barrier shield?"

"Yeah, he got you," he told her thickly.

She nodded. That made sense.

"Sango? Miroku? Where are they?"

Inuyasha settled down beside her as he explained. "I told them to meet us back at Kaede's village. Your wounds were… serious. I didn't have time to wait on those slow-ass fuckers."

"So where are we now?"

"Cave."

"I can see that. Where?"

"About a week's travel from Kaede's village. Faster, if I carry you."

Kagome leaned into him, feeling the solid thump of his heart against her ear. "I'm not ready to leave yet."

"No shit. You're just a weak girl."

Weak. She didn't feel weak at all. She focused, letting her power collect in the tips of her fingers as they burrowed into the material of Inuyasha's haori.

His skin began to sizzle. "Fuck, Kagome! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She pulled back and clapped her hands over her mouth. "Sorry!"

He eyed her hard, clearly waiting for an elaboration.

"I was just thinking about what a weak human I am."

"Feh. If that's all." Inuyasha tucked his hands into his sleeves. He acted like it was nothing, but Kagome could still detect the stench of burned flesh hours later.

She wondered where that kind of power had come from.

ooOoo

Two more weeks passed, and Inuyasha knew they would have to return to the village. Even with as angry as he had been at his companions during the weeks they had searched for Kagome, he was not comfortable with the idea of letting them worry about Kagome for too long.

Every now and then, though, Kagome would shift just a little closer into him, or sigh this breathy little gasp, and Inuyasha would think—to hell with it. He didn't want to deal with Sango's stupid should-have-seen-her-brother's-death-coming-all-along-mourning bullshit anyway.

And because, deep down, he just wanted to cherish the little remaining time with Kagome he had left.

Maybe that was why he kissed her.

ooOoo

Kagome had never kissed a boy before. She didn't know, when Inuyasha's jaw flexed and his fangs pierced her lips, whether or not that was normal. She didn't care one bit, though, when he groaned into her mouth.

Though she had never kissed a boy, she found she was not flustered when Inuyasha's mouth lingered like warm velvet on her lips. She had daydreamed about this moment for so long the pain of its realization threatened to unstring her heart.

Tentatively, Inuyasha's hand palmed the swell of her breast.

A breathy moan seeped into the air. Kagome was surprise to realize it was her own.

He growled a little against her and pulled her onto his lap. The feeling of his hard thighs and the brush of his hips as he slowly began to move against her seemed oddly familiar. The half-thought made her pull back long enough for Inuyasha to move his attention away from her mouth.

"God, Kagome, I've wanted this for so long," he rasped as he traced a clawed finger along the underside of her jaw. He leaned forward and pressed his nose against her thumping pulse, inhaling deeply.

"I have too," she told him honestly, blushing a deep red even as she said it.

Inuyasha smiled then, and the beauty of it stole Kagome's breath. The cruel curve of glistening fang might have frightened another woman, but all Kagome could see was the kind arch of his lips, the way the skin crinkled around his eyes, and the clean, masculine line of his jaw as he tilted his head just so.

When she cupped his face, he turned into the palm of her hand and kissed the skin where her thumb joint connected to the rest of her fingers. He continued to kiss his way along the inseam of her arm, up to the juncture of her shoulder, down her collarbone, inching progressively toward her breasts.

Impatiently, he began to pull at her disgustingly filthy blouse. She wondered, absently, how it had become such a mess in only one battle, but the thought dissipated as soon as she felt Inuyasha's wet mouth mapping the flesh of her hips.

They were going too fast.

Kagome thought of her mother, who had told her to never disrespect herself by giving away her chastity to a man who did not love her.

Did Inuyasha love her? she wondered. She felt her heart sink as the answer came that no, he did not.

But she loved him.

_And this may be all she ever got. _

Kagome locked her legs around his waist. His growl vibrated against her inner thighs, sending shooting shivers down her spine.

Lost in the sensation of his weight bearing down on her, of his sharp bones pressing promises from her body, she let him have his way.

She did not know what he felt for her—_except, apparently, lust_. Whatever it was to him, though, to Kagome, it was making love when Inuyasha finally flipped up her skirt and she finally gathered the courage to untie his hakama and snake them down his hips.

To her surprise, it did not hurt a bit. Wasn't losing your virginity supposed to be really terrible at first? There wasn't even any blood. Think what she would like, but Kagome just could not chalk the inconsistencies up to Inuyasha being a gentle lover. He wasn't.

True, he had held her with this shaking tenderness that seemed to bespeak all restrained passion, and the way he had stroked her with each rock of his hips had sent her into plumes of ecstasy. But that intensity had resulted in fevered caresses, in bleeding lips and bruised hips and in the quiet minutes afterward, while Inuyasha threaded his fingers through her hair, she wondered when the taste of copper in her mouth had become inextricably laced with the dull throb of satiation between her legs.

When the sun began to set, Inuyasha built a fire. The fire lit the cave walls a dappled orange, flickering shadows that moved like ghosts along the periphery of Kagome's vision. She tried not to look at them, but as they continued to creep like insects along the edge of her sight, she began to notice a pattern that was too terrible to consider.

ooOoo

For a few days, Inuyasha indulged in Kagome. He loved nothing more than the feel of her silky soft skin under his palms as he buried himself inside of her. He adored the way she mewed as he nudged his nose along her jaw, nibbling with the slightest of grazes as he edged down the column of her throat.

It was only fair to have this, he told himself, considering what he had given up to get her back.

They rutted constantly. He did not know what else to call it, this heat between them. He wondered why they had never done this before, why he had never just made the move and had her before Naraku, the fucking coward, had ever laid his filthy fingers on her.

He took care not to wince when he slid in to her the first time and realized fully what had happened while he failed to protect her. Instead he focused on the task at hand, the pure essence of Kagome as she bucked her hips against him.

Such a sweet, innocent girl. Her love for him was in her eyes. It broke his heart to look at her too long, even as it killed him to tear his eyes away for even a moment.

It was noon on the third day. Inuyasha trailed long patterns down her side, tracing circles on her inner thigh, brushing his knuckles against her warming center with every pass.

She gasped, her thigh twitched, and his finger slipped, cutting a long gash along the crook of her thigh.

"Shit, Kagome, I'm sorry." His hand hovered over the wound.

"Ite! Don't touch it!" she hissed through her teeth as she sat up. She leaned over and appraised the wound. "It's not so bad," she concluded. "It's really just a shallow…" She trailed off as blood puddled under her legs.

"Kagome?"

She remained transfixed by the dark blood fizzing from her leg. "I just remembered something," she murmured. She looked up. "Inuyasha, you left out the most important part of the story."

He knew, then, that his happiness was over.


	9. The Way Back

**The Way Back**

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters/events belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

* * *

"What did he do to me? When he had me. Do you know? Have you known?" Her voice was low like slow water over stones.

He couldn't bring himself to give words to what he knew and so make them real. Unfortunately, that didn't make it any less true.

When he didn't answer her, Kagome's eyes slid past him, to the rough hewn stone behind his shoulder. "That's what I thought." She stood, brushing at her torn skirt. She paused as her hand skipped over the snagged hem. She rubbed the material between her fingers, examining the blood spats. For a second, her mask fell, and he could see the fear lingering over her face.

He reached out to her, grasping for her hand. He did not know what he could do to make any of this better, but he hoped he could find the actions to say what he could never put into words. He pressed her hand, and tried to convey all of the feelings for her he had welled deep inside of him.

She finally tore her eyes from her ruined skirt to look into his eyes. The mask was already back in place.

"I'm ready to go back, now, Inuyasha."

He nodded and offered her his back. What else could he do?

Kagome hesitated for just a moment before sidling up next to him and slipping those darling white thighs around his waist.

Inuyasha hoped that this mood would pass when they got to the village, though he really knew better.

ooOoo

Shippou bounded onto her shoulder and wept into her neck for almost a full hour when Kagome and Inuyasha returned to the village.

"Kagome! I thought you were dead!" he wailed, little hands tugging at her shirt.

She let him hang on to her, absently patting at his head as she faced Miroku and Sango.

"We're very happy to have you back, Kagome-sama," Miroku informed her, a kind, though tired, smile on his face. He made no move to feel her up, either.

Sango, upon seeing her, had rushed her in an uncharacteristic display of emotion and clutched her tightly to her chest.

Kagome had pulled back to examine the girl.

She looked terrible. Deep hollows lined the side of her face, and dark circles ringed her eyes like bruises. Could she really be just sixteen years old?

Strangely, Kagome felt unaffected by the dramatic changes in her friend's appearance.

Kagome realized, after a moment, that they were waiting for her to say something. She tried to smile, but the gesture felt difficult to complete. "I'm very happy to be back too."

ooOoo

Kagome had scrambled off of his back as soon as they were in the village clearing. Inuyasha had held back as she strode towards Kaede's hut. When the others crowded in around her, he had stood back to watch her. She was making all the right responses, and maybe it fooled the others, but it sure as hell didn't fool him.

Kaede appeared on the periphery of his vision, coming from the far side of the village. She froze when she saw Kagome.

The reaction lasted maybe just a quarter of a second. Imperceptible to the human eye, her surprise was so expertly disguised.

"Kagome, it is good to see you safely returned," she greeted. The old woman took the girl's arm, leading her away from the village center and into her hut. She tossed a pointed glance at Inuyasha and gestured with her chin toward her home.

Inuyasha followed.

Inside, the hut's temperature approached muggy. A large pot bubbled over the open fire. Boiling water slopped over the sides, smoke rising to the low ceiling as the water hissed onto the ground.

Kaede reached for a bundle of herbs hanging from a line above her head and began breaking the leaves into the water.

"You must be very tired, child. Would you like anything to eat or drink?" Kaede gestured for Kagome to sit while she stirred the leaves into the boiling water.

"No, thank you."

"Surely you must be thirsty?" She reached for a wooden bowl and ladled some of the broth into the bowl. The old miko proffered it in front of Kagome, who did not look particularly interested. "You must keep up your strength if you're going to finish your quest."

A sharp gleam formed in Kagome's eyes. She took the bowl. "Forgive me. You're right, Kaede-sama."

Satisfaction showed in the line of Kaede's mouth as she placed the bowl in Kagome's hands.

"What's in this?" she asked as she began to sip at the broth. "I don't recognize what you used."

"No? Shall we go over it tomorrow?"

"I guess—" She yawned. "I guess that would be alright. I feel so—" Another yawn ripped through her jaws. "I feel so tired." Her eyes began to droop closed. The bowl slipped from her hand, spattering liquid on the rush mats near her knees as she slumped against the wall.

"Oi, hag, what was in that?"

"Just something to make her sleep while we talk."

Tired suddenly, Inuyasha took a seat near the fire. "You've noticed?"

Kaede seated herself across from him. There was a beat where she did not answer, instead choosing to stare at the bright flame.

Outside, Inuyasha could hear the others crowding near the door to listen.

"You can come inside," Kaede called out.

Sheepishly, his three other companions stepped through the low doorway.

"I believe what I am about to say concerns all of you. That's the only reason I'm indulging your eavesdropping."

Miroku did not bother to hide the look he was giving Kagome. "It's as bad as I feared, isn't it?" he sighed. In that moment, standing in the uncertain afternoon light, Miroku looked like an old man. The strain of the last two months had aged him more than a lifetime of living with the kazaana.

"I'm afraid it is," Kaede confirmed.

Sango frowned. "What is?"

"I wasn't sure at first, when I saw her outside, but now I see… Kagome's soul has fractured. It's as though all of the love has been washed clean out of her."

Inuyasha tried to maintain a mild expression (and, inevitably, failed) as he demanded, "What do you mean _all of the love_?"

Miroku's hand fastened around his bicep, restraining him from invading the elderly miko's space any further. He hadn't even realized he'd lunged at her.

Kaede showed no emotion as she explained. "Each person's soul intrinsically consists of several distinct elements. Love. Courage. Selfishness, to name a few. Each person possesses these qualities in different proportions. For a miko… the part of her soul that loves is volatile, potent. It's the part of her soul that fuels her powers of purification. In a way, you could say that a miko is an individual born with the highest proportions of love within her soul."

"That doesn't make sense," Sango said. "Not all mikos are in love. And not all mikos are good."

"Not just romantic love, child. Love for others. It is one of the essential elements necessary to purify. As for evil mikos, like Tsubaki... Self-love can factor into power as well. Selfishness is also a strong force."

Shippou peeked out from beneath Sango's hair. "So what does it mean if she doesn't have her love anymore?"

"Loss of her miko powers? The separation of her spirit from her body? It's hard to say."

"That's bullshit, she's nearly purified me with her fucking bare hands twice in the last month." '

All eyes turned to Inuyasha.

He hunched a little into himself as he continued. "What? If the wench is broken wouldn't she be unable to do it?"

Kaede nodded, turning her eyes back towards the sleeping girl. "Perhaps."

ooOoo

"It's late, you should get some rest, Inuyasha."

The voice was low and almost indistinct in the darkness. Had the speaker not been crouched near Kagome's head, she may not have been able to make out the words at all.

"I don't get tired like a human. I'll be fine."

The other—_Miroku_, Kagome realized—sighed deeply. She could feel the shift of his bones as the air creaked past his lungs, he was so near. "I didn't press it when we were searching, but I know you didn't sleep then, and I suspect you hardly slept while Kagome's life was in question."

"So?"

"You're no good to us if you die because your body is too tired to fight."

Inuyasha snorted, but he did not protest.

Kagome felt a delicate pressure whisper along her brow. She fought the urge to frown as she focused upon it. However, it was gone almost as soon as she noticed it.

ooOoo

Inuyasha had not slept well. Taking his eyes off of Kagome for even just a moment made him uncomfortable. Worse, he could not sleep while he worried that Kagome's… _condition _was his fault. Impossible to tell while she slept whether or not his fears were a reality.

He tried to keep his tone with her harsh to hide the relief he felt when Kagome immediately, upon waking, asserted her desire to return home. "Feh, why should I let you go when I just got you back in shard-hunting condition, bitch?"

The relief was short lived. She was as beautiful and vital in appearance as ever—in much better condition than in the condition he had found her at Naraku's fortress— yet her eyes held an unnatural quality in them that made his insides twist.

"I won't be long." She turned and left, then.

He followed her to the edge of the bone eater's well. Strange, he thought, to see her jumping through time without her yellow backpack. That had been lost around the time that they had lost Kagome.

The girl was true to her word. She spent only two days in her world, so little time that Inuyasha was just starting to think of following after her when she returned.

She never spoke about what happened in her world. Not for lack of questions from the group—Sango asking about the health of her family, Shippou prying for coloring sticks or sweet foods.

When all of these lines of inquiry turned up no details, Kagome just shrugged her shoulders. "My family is the same as ever. They were glad to see me." Then, fingering a loose thread on a much smaller bag, she explained, "I didn't have room to pack any snacks for you, Shippou-chan. My new bag can barely fit my sleeping bag and the first-aid kit as it is."

Inuyasha never asked her about his ramen, and when she finally looked at him, he didn't see anything in her eyes.

_She'll never love you when she finds out what you've done. _

One way or another, he'd always known it would be true.

ooOoo

The village began to feel claustrophobic after returning from her world. The time had come, Kagome realized, to return to the road.

If she had had her way, they would leave immediately, but even Inuyasha pushed to spend another night in the village.

She couldn't help but think he was watching her.

In the past, that might have excited her. She half expected to feel her face warm when she actually caught him staring down at her from a heavy tree limb, but no such reaction ever occurred. It bothered her a little the first time she noticed it, but she just rolled her shoulders back and remembered the night terrors she endured with Naraku.

At dusk, she headed into Kaede's hut for the evening. She chose a corner away from the fire and unrolled her heavy sleeping bag.

"Kagome?"

She looked up to find Kaede standing near her feet.

"Hmm?"

"One of the children in the village is running a fever, and I'm out of the right plants to bring his temperature down. I need a pair of sharp eyes to help me in this darkness."

"Would Inuyasha be better?"

"He hasn't been trained in plant-crafts. Come, give an old woman some help."

A little reluctant to leave her spot and not sure why, Kagome rose to follow Kaede into the edges of the forest.

"I notice you didn't spend long in your world," Kaede began. "It's a shame you weren't there longer. I notice your medicines box was not replenished while you were there."

Kagome shifted uncomfortably. "I didn't want to stay for long."

"That's unusual."

"I just felt like I had things I needed to do here."

"And I suppose you would be wanting to see Inuyasha."

Kagome stopped walking. She watched from the ink-blue shadows as Kaede hobbled ahead of her.

When she finally spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "No, that wasn't it at all. For the first time, I didn't want to see Inuyasha at all."

Kaede turned to look at her. Slowly, she returned to the girl, gently placing a softly wrinkled hand around the girl's shoulder. "And why wouldn't you want to see Inuyasha?"

"I don't know. When I first woke up, after Inuyasha rescued me, I was so happy to see him. And then I remembered, and since then… Since then I feel nothing at all. And I know I should feel something, but there's nothing."

"Kagome, child, I've been worried about you since I saw you a few days ago. I notice a… change in you. It's as though something is blocking the part of your soul that can love—and I don't know what. Can you think of anything that has happened? Did Naraku… _do _anything to you?"

Kagome laughed, a jagged, broken sound. She remembered the taste of blood as the dread white face, pale like the underbelly of a fish, leaned into her, inhaling her breath. The way it felt for his hands to trail down her sides and peel at the flesh until he was inside and twisting her, coring her out so he could make a home for himself inside of her heart.

"How can you even ask that? You know how he coveted Kikyo. And me, looking just like her… I was doomed the moment I fell into the well the first time."

"Don't speak nonsense. It's a waste of both our time."

"Maybe. But so is talking about this." Kagome looked toward the village, where she could feel Inuyasha's eyes upon her. "The only way I have left is to kill him myself."

ooOoo

They left the next day. For weeks, they travelled. The skies darkened. Village after village, blighted, the rotting corpses left fat and pungent on the roadsides.

His human companions were near the end of their reserves. Kagome had scarcely said two words the duration of the trip, and he could see how her aloofness—no, worse, her alien attitude—affected their morale.

The day he scents Naraku on the horizon is the first day he sees a familiar spark of spirit ignite in Kagome's face. Her spirit energy flares when she fastens onto his back, and he prays for his enemy's blood on his claws. Anything, for Kagome.

* * *

_A/N: In the home stretch now! Just one more chapter to go and this will be finished! Please tell me what you think!_


	10. Awakening

**Awakening**

Disclaimer: All recognizable material belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

_A/N: Final chapter!_

* * *

The wind whips in sharp pants against her cheeks as Inuyasha surges and dives beneath her.

He cuts through the dead forest like a needle through flesh, plummeting through the treeline, only to rise against the ancient trunks again.

The process exhilarates Kagome. The catch of her stomach as it fights to keep up with her body reminds her of the feelings she used to have for Inuyasha, of the warm heat she would feel when he moved too close.

She feels a similar heat as she plucks an arrow from her quiver. Her fingers slip languidly over the string as she nocks the arrow back to the joint of her cheek and ear.

"Oi, Kagome. You won't be able to shoot worth shit if you nock it so early."

His voice sounds like it's been filtered by a vast lake of water, and she is the one being held under. She's only sure he spoke at all from the vibration of his chest between her legs.

Still, he is wrong.

Kagome braces her knees against his shoulders and rises from his back like a bird as she shoots the arrow, sure and sharp, toward Naraku's mirage.

A film seems to recede from her vision as her arrow dissipates the force field. Naraku's fortress appears much closer than they had anticipated. One last trap for the road, she supposes.

The mists roll in around them as soon as Inuyasha leaps over the towering fortress walls, clear into the courtyard. Above, the sky rolls with heavy violet thunderheads. The ground beneath them quakes as the roiling heat slashes long, bloody gashes into the caked earth.

White fogs snows them in as the force of Inuyasha's landing sprays debris well above their heads. A rock cuts Kagome's face and she almost slips from her delicate perch on his back. Blood cuts a diagonal across her face, and she savors the sharp sensation.

Somewhere, Naraku hides.

Inuyasha casts a glance over his shoulder. "We've lost the others."

She doesn't respond.

If her lack of acknowledgment bothers him, he doesn't show it.

"Kagome, I'll protect you this time. I promise."

Again, what could she say? She's ready to step out from behind his ineffectual guardianship.

She is worrying her lips, letting the words pool in her mouth like cool syrup, when she hears the telltale clang of Miroku's staff, the whistle of hiraikotsu. Not too far away, the others are battling, probably for their lives.

A star flashes in the distance.

Unthinkingly, she staggers toward it, drawn to its white beauty.

His arm bars her as surely as would iron. "Don't wander."

Absently, she brushes his arm off, unmindful of the way her touch makes his skin boil and fall from the bone like the skim that pools at the surface of hot milk.

He hisses a choice string of curses, but she cannot focus long enough to decipher them.

She takes a few steps forward, and loses Inuyasha in the mist.

Ahead, the star strobes to the rhythm of her heart. It reels her in like a fish, and she does not try to fight the line.

Naraku's puppet greets her, redolent in his baboon's pelt. She does not waste her arrow on it; when the puppet lunges for her, she blasts the facsimile apart with her hands.

Kagome feels his breath hot against her nape.

"Shall we skip the formalities then, my Kagome?" he breathes against her neck.

She turns, but does not find him behind her.

"You're jumping at shadows, Kagome."

Though she does not see him, she can hear the smirk, imagine the white teeth gleaming.

The memory of those teeth on her skin makes her more than a little nauseous. She picks an arrow and slides it into place. The burning star tells her where to aim.

Her arrow pierces Naraku's shoulder. In his hand, the shikon no tama pulses with radiant light.

Naraku seems unperturbed by the wound that devastates his noxious body. Before satisfaction can bloom in her stomach, his shoulder has already begun to reform.

Kagome does not falter. She draws another arrow and shoots again. Again. Again, until she has used her last arrow and sweat drips from the tip of her nose.

"How can you withstand my arrows?" she asks.

Naraku laughs as his fingers flutter around the edges of the jewel. He is nothing but pleased when Inuyasha finally breaks his way into their confrontation.

Kagome notices a dark stain stretching across Inuyasha's midriff.

The hanyou ignores the damage sustained during battle in favor of the old enemy.

Her irritation flares. Kagome will not give him the satisfaction of being the one to kill Naraku. She will not let go of this thing she desires most.

She drops her bow and quiver and looks Naraku in his blood-red eyes as she repeats, "How can you withstand my arrows?"

Naraku answers her leisurely, eyes flicking between his two adversaries. "The power of a miko is not worth much when her soul has no love in it." His gaze settles on Inuyasha as he asks, "Wouldn't you agree, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha draws Tetsusaiga. "I don't have time for your trash talk, Naraku." He charges, and Kagome can sense the youki building around the blade. Even she is a little frightened by the strength of it.

Naraku bats Inuyasha away like a doll.

"Trash talk, Inuyasha? How very stupid of you. Do you deny, then, being the one who traded her love away?"

For the first time since the moment of remembrance in the cave, sensation sparks at the edges of Kagome's heart. "Inuyasha," she asks, voice almost inaudible against the howl of outside battle, "What is he talking about?"

"I don't know," he grinds out.

She knows him well enough to know that he is purposefully refusing to understand what is unfolding in front of him.

"Inuyasha, think hard," Naraku calls. "Who did you see, when you were looking for Kagome? What price were you willing to pay to get her back?"

Inuyasha snarls. He seems to have riddled Naraku out, but does not elaborate for Kagome's benefit.

"Inuyasha?" she prods. "What is he talking about?"

He swallows hard before he speaks. "You have to understand, when Naraku took you… You were _gone_. I tried every way I could think of, but the others were worse than useless and I couldn't get anywhere near the fortress. So I did what had to be done. I went to see an old witch, who I thought could help me find a way in. She agreed to help me, but only at a price…"

"What price, Inuyasha?"

He does not answer.

"Inuyasha, what price?"

He does not meet her eyes. "Your love for me."

"I don't think those were her exact words, Inuyasha," Naraku informs him. "I believe the witch asked for the girl's _love_."

"How do you know?" Inuyasha growls. The hanyou's hands clench in his bloody robes, claws spasming in the dark fluids.

Naraku's eyes bug as he smiles, that horrible, perfect pulling of lips from teeth that Kagome remembers against her skin. "Who do you think you made the deal with? It wasn't terribly difficult to trick you, Inuyasha. I asked for the girl's love, and you _assumed _I meant just her love for you." Naraku's eyes drag over her as he concludes, satisfaction dripping from his lips, "I took all of it for myself."

"Why?" she gasps.

"Because I wanted to possess you and Inuyasha presented me with the opportunity. Because a miko with no love in her is just the kind of miko I need to fully corrupt the shikon no tama. And with the possession of your love… how easy it was to mold it all into hate. You were so broken inside, with so little sense of self-worth. Inuyasha had honestly convinced you that you were nothing. It was easy to slip in and plant myself inside of you."

"How did Inuyasha have the power to give that to you?"

Naraku strokes the sacred jewel in his palm as he responds, "Because he was the one you loved the most."

"Hijinkessou!"

The blood attack catches Naraku off guard, actually managing to slice the soft flesh of his neck.

By the time Naraku's wound seals itself closed, the flesh slithering together like a snake, Inuyasha has begun what Kagome perceives to be a lethal charge. He swings Tetsusaiga high.

Kagome feels as though she is—_surfacing through a dream_.

_You know I'll always protect you._

She knows what she must do. Kagome feels the strength of it in her limbs as she runs, faster than she had imagined possible. She cannot possibly make it in time. Inuyasha is so, so fast, and Naraku may be faster.

_Inuyasha, how long have I been asleep?_

Cold rips through her gut as she remembers—_him_. His hair like black seaweed as he violated her, his mouth hot against her neck as he bit into her.

The image melts into Inuyasha as he made love to her. The memory of the warmth of his eyes suffuses her as she hurtles towards him. She regrets, now, that she did not linger with him longer.

_This may be all she ever got. _

Against all odds, she, Kagome, the weak, insignificant human girl whose only strength has ever been the ferocity of her love for Inuyasha, makes it.

Before Naraku can execute the final, fatal blow that will kill Inuyasha, Kagome lays her hands—_the hands that have burned Inuyasha with every glancing touch—_upon him. Her hands have power. Light pours from her, draining from her soul like a river into the ocean.

Naraku's last, twisted words bubble from his warping flesh as he screams, like the coward he is, "How can you—?"

_Because the purity of her love for Inuyasha could endure anything. It already had. _

Destroying Naraku takes everything. They are connected. She feels it and remembers how he placed himself inside of her, twisted her life-force together with his, and she wishes she had had the confidence to fight him. As she feels the monster die beneath her hands, she knows she must not let even the tiniest remnant remain. She must purify all of him, or he will return, and he will seek vengeance for what she has done. As the last of Naraku's evil dissipates, Kagome feels the last drops of her life drain from her.

The jewel falls from the ghost of Naraku's hands. It rolls, whole and pure, to the ground.

She stumbles, and Inuyasha catches her.

"Why, Kagome?" he asks, his voice catching on her name as uncharacteristic tears begin to leak down his chin.

The warmth in his eyes as he says her name warms her.

"Don't you know, Inuyasha? I'll always protect you."

He repeats her name like a mantra as he gathers her to his chest.

_Kagome Kagome Kagome _rings in her ears like a song from her childhood.

"_I have the strangest feeling_," she tells him. "_Like I haven't seen you for weeks. _If I had, I wouldn't have forgotten how I love you. I feel as though I've been sleeping this whole time."

His face is so close it takes just the barest effort to press her cooling lips to his.

* * *

_A/N: FINISHED! Thank you to everyone who has read this fic over the last four years—it's been quite a journey! Please review if you've enjoyed it and let me know what you think! I left the ending open to interpretation, because even though Kagome is dying, there is always hope. _


End file.
